How to do evangelism with courage, humility and love
By Rod Benson
Some Christians gladly speak with friends about their children, sport, favourite books or recent holidays, but hesitate to speak about Jesus Christ. We fear embarrassment, difficult questions or damage to a valued friendship. We may feel poorly equipped, remember an awkward conversation, or assume that nobody is interested.
These concerns deserve understanding. But they need not silence us. Personal evangelism begins with the conviction that the gospel is good news worth sharing, and that ordinary Christians can share it with honesty, humility and love.
The New Testament identifies evangelists among those who equip the church for ministry (Eph 4:11–12), while bearing witness to Christ belongs to ordinary discipleship. In Matthew 28:18–20, Jesus commissions his followers to go and make disciples, baptise them, and teach them to obey what he has taught them. Christians widely understand this commission as shaping the church’s continuing mission, including our efforts to help others learn to follow him.
We participate differently according to our personalities, circumstances and opportunities. A quiet conversation over coffee can be as significant as listening to a public address or reading an apologetic book. Faithfulness does not require us to become someone else.
Good news worth sharing
The gospel concerns what God has done through Jesus Christ to reconcile us to himself. Jesus’ life reveals God’s character and the life to which we are called. His death and resurrection stand at the centre of the Christian proclamation of salvation: through Christ, God addresses our sin, offers forgiveness and opens the way to new life. The invitation is to turn towards God, trust Christ and learn to follow him within a community of faith.
These gifts have enduring significance. Love includes concern for another person’s relationship with God, as well as their immediate wellbeing. We share because we desire reconciliation, forgiveness and life in Christ for people we love. Christian hope reaches beyond present circumstances to resurrection and the renewal of creation. This gives evangelism spiritual seriousness, while reminding us that the message entrusted to us is an announcement of grace.
The gospel speaks to guilt and forgiveness, loneliness and belonging, injustice and hope, mortality and meaning. Yet its relevance extends beyond helping us cope. Jesus calls us to repentance, obedience, reconciliation and costly love. Following him can challenge our ambitions, loyalties and habits. We should convey both the welcome of grace and the invitation to a transformed life, without suggesting that Christianity removes every difficulty or guarantees prosperity, health or happiness.
Love opens the conversation
Friends and family are people to love, whose experiences, questions and convictions deserve attention. Practical kindness, dependable friendship and concern for justice give substance to Christian witness. Words also matter: people cannot necessarily discover why we trust Jesus simply by observing our behaviour. Our conduct should make our words credible, and our words should help explain the hope that shapes our conduct.
Listening is essential. Ask what gives someone hope, how they understand suffering, or whether faith has ever mattered to them. Listen without preparing an immediate rebuttal. A person who has experienced religious coercion or abuse may need acknowledgement and patient care before theological explanation. We do not honour Jesus by minimising suffering caused in his name.
Cultural differences need to be carefully negotiated. Words such as “God”, “sin”, “salvation” and “church” may carry meanings different from those we intend. Exploring Christianity may have implications for family loyalties and community belonging. Ask rather than assume, explain unfamiliar language, and recognise that another person’s questions may arise from experiences we have never shared.
Don’t assume disinterest. Asking a friend, “Would you be interested in hearing how my faith helps me think about that?” offers a genuine choice. If the answer is no, accept it graciously. Where someone depends on us or feels obliged to please us, we must also ensure that declining carries no adverse consequences. Love continues without a religious response. Embarrassment and appropriate restraint are different: sometimes we hesitate because we fear looking foolish; sometimes we rightly recognise that the timing is poor or the person has declined. Courage helps us overcome the former, while love teaches us to honour the latter.
Family relationships deserve particular patience. Relatives may know our inconsistencies well and remember earlier attempts to persuade them. Sometimes the most credible beginning is an apology, a repaired relationship or an acknowledgement that we have changed. An apology should address actual wrongdoing and express a willingness to make amends.
Those who know us best may need to see that following Jesus makes us more willing to listen, admit fault and seek reconciliation. Trust deepens when our faith becomes visible in consistent, considerate conduct.
Speak simply about Jesus
It’s not necessary to have a dramatic conversion story or a polished presentation to do personal evangelism well. Describe, in ordinary language, why you trust Jesus and what following him means. Perhaps faith has brought forgiveness, challenged selfishness, sustained you through grief or given you a community in which to serve. Specific, truthful examples can make our meaning clearer. We can speak about a faith that remains a work in progress.
Our experience provides an opening, but the conversation should also help someone encounter Jesus. Explain who he is, why his death and resurrection matter, and what responding to him involves. A personal story can show the gospel’s significance, but it should leave room for someone to discover Christ beyond our own experience.
Fear of getting the message wrong can make us say nothing. Preparation can help us speak with greater clarity and confidence. Practise explaining the gospel briefly without church jargon. Read a Gospel with another Christian and discuss how Jesus meets people. Learn to distinguish the central message from other questions on which Christians differ, recognising that Christians also disagree about where that distinction should be drawn. We need sufficient understanding to speak responsibly; we do not need flawless knowledge before beginning.
If our friendships increasingly involve only Christians, we can widen our participation in ordinary community life through neighbourhood activities, volunteering, hobbies and existing family relationships. Develop genuine friendships and take an interest in other people’s lives. Friendship has value in itself, and Christian witness grows through sustained presence, mutual care and honest conversation.
Take questions seriously
Difficult questions deserve serious engagement. Why does God allow suffering? Can Christianity be trusted after the church’s failures? What about other religions? “I don’t know, but I would like to explore that with you” is a responsible response. Seek reliable resources, consult someone knowledgeable and return to the question. Admitting uncertainty can strengthen trust, especially when we follow through.
Christian claims about Jesus require humility. We can affirm that God’s saving grace comes through Christ without speaking contemptuously about people of other faiths or claiming knowledge of every person’s eternal destiny. Explain what you believe and why, while recognising the limits of your understanding. Christians differ over how to understand other religions and the scope of final salvation. We can acknowledge those differences while affirming our convictions with humility. Confidence in Christ should deepen our respect for neighbours who bear God’s image.
Contentious social issues may dominate a conversation before Jesus receives much attention. Do not evade sincere concerns, particularly where people have suffered exclusion or mistreatment. Acknowledge wrongdoing clearly and distinguish Christian faith from partisan loyalties. Where Christians disagree, say so. Our moral convictions deserve thoughtful explanation, and our own prejudices and conduct remain subject to Christ’s judgement. The person before us should experience the dignity and care we profess.
Trust God and stay alongside
Prayer involves our own formation as well as another person’s response. Ask God for wisdom, courage, attentiveness and love, and for the Spirit’s work in the other person’s life. Pray also to recognise and relinquish impatience, defensiveness and the desire to win. Prayer can help form us for service and expose our desire to control. We participate in God’s work; we don’t manufacture faith.
Concerns about dependency deserve attention. We may fear becoming someone’s sole spiritual support, or recognise that they depend on us emotionally, financially or professionally. Such relationships require particular care to preserve freedom. Never make assistance, affection or acceptance conditional on a religious response. Where someone wishes to explore Christianity, help them find a healthy community in which questions are welcome and support is shared. Broader support can help, although it does not automatically resolve dependency.
Offer a next step suited to the person. They may welcome a private conversation, a trustworthy book, an introduction to another Christian, or an opportunity to read a Gospel together. Others may be ready to visit church. An invitation should be clear enough to act on and open enough to decline. If interest develops, explain how the church community understands continuing discipleship, baptism and participation in worship, learning and service. Most churches practise water baptism, following the commission in Matthew 28:19.
Churches must support the witness they encourage. Individual Christians need accessible training, help with difficult questions, prayerful encouragement and welcoming settings for exploration. Congregations should also examine whether newcomers encounter the grace their members describe. A church that listens, protects vulnerable people, welcomes honest questions and practises hospitality gives practical substance to its proclamation.
Past disappointments need not define future conversations. An unwelcome approach may teach us to listen better or apologise. Another person’s refusal may reflect their present convictions rather than a failure on our part. In 1 Corinthians 3:5–9, Paul addresses divisions in the Corinthian church, describing himself and Apollos as servants who plant and water while God gives growth. His distinction between human service and God-given growth also offers perspective on personal witness: we contribute faithfully, but cannot control the outcome. We can remain faithful without treating someone’s response as a verdict on our worth.
Make a start
Begin modestly. Pray for a friend, listen carefully, share one honest reason for your hope, and offer an invitation to continue. Writing in a context of suffering and intimidation, 1 Peter 3:15–16 joins a readiness to explain Christian hope with gentleness, respect and a good conscience. That counsel also guides everyday conversations about faith.
Courage can grow as we practise that combination. We share because the love of Jesus transforms us, because our friends and neighbours matter to God, and because we hope they too will discover the grace and life we have received through the mercy of God.
Rod Benson lives in Sydney and writes about a range of topics from books and local history to food, faith, philosophy, ethics, research skills, and everyday life. Away from the keyboard, he enjoys cooking for friends, walking in the Australian bush, exploring a beach, discovering new restaurants, and reading philosophy, fiction and poetry. He is married to Emma and is minister of North Rocks Community Church, a Uniting Church congregation.
Image source: StockCake
